Breast Cancer Diaries: A Diagnosis

I never felt a lump. The breast cancer – already two-centimeters in size -- was detected through a routine mammogram and confirmed with a biopsy the same day at Desert Regional’s Comprehensive Cancer Center.

At first it is hard to process this new information about yourself that is at once both a diagnosis and an identity.  I’ve crossed the line to the side of the one out of eight who will get breast cancer, leaving the other seven behind.  What does this me?  Do I start wearing pink, and purchase pink items now that represent breast cancer?  Will that help me?

Dr. Laura Lee, my surgeon, has the kind of demeanor that you want to trust. She explains the procedure delicately, pausing for my questions. Will it make my right breast noticeably smaller than the other one? She doesn’t know. During the procedure, Dr. Lee will also take some of the lymph nodes under my right arm to see if the cancer has spread.   

Because I have large breasts, the lump could not be detected by self-examination. In addition, Dr. Lee instructed me to buy “supportive” front-closure bras to wear after surgery.  I guess “average” breasts just get wrapped up. I am special.

Following the surgery will be five days of radiation treatment, two times a day under the direction of Dr. Judy Jackson. Between each treatment there is a six-hour wait. I may get to stay at Hanson House at that time, but that has not been confirmed.   

I am feeling a strange combination of fear and comfort. Fear of getting cut open on my breast, the body part I have associated my womanly identity with. And a growing comfort in trusting God and the hospital staff that everything will go well.

Over the next few weeks, I will take a break from writing Easy Eats and give the community insight into my treatment.